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Most men struggle with lasting longer in bed. This is because delaying ejaculation is a skill that runs against most men’s natural instincts. Most men’s first experience with sex is in the context of masturbation during early teens, back when he would furtively reach climax as quickly as possible to avoid discovery. Then again in later teen years, his first sexual encounters might be in the back of a car or in his girlfriend’s bedroom, where avoiding detection is again a factor. Just like it’s difficult for a man who’s been training sprints his whole life to pace himself for a marathon, men growing up with these habits often find it difficult to delay ejaculation.
In addition to these learned habits, men are biologically wired for quick orgasms, while women generally require a longer period of foreplay and correct stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse. Essentially, part of the problem is physiological but much of it is learned as well. By unlearning the habits of earlier years and learning techniques to prolong sex, even the quickest finishers can learn how to last longer in bed, delay ejaculation, and pleasure a woman until she is completely spent.
How To Delay Ejaculation & Last Longer In Bed
Woman on Top Helps Delaying Ejaculation
Just because delaying ejaculation runs against most men’s learned habits and natural instincts doesn’t mean that it can’t be achieved. You simply need to retrain your mind, your body, and your breathing to be in line with the goal of delaying gratification, pleasuring your partner first, and taking pleasure in the moment rather than looking forward to climax. Below are the basic steps that will get you going on the road to lasting longer in bed and becoming the lover that every woman dreams of.
Control Your Arousal
The first and perhaps most important step in delaying ejaculation is to learn to control your level of arousal. This means first learning to understand your levels of arousal. Because most men first learn about their sexuality through masturbation, this is also the way you can relearn old habits. Rather than aiming to reach climax as soon as possible, use masturbation as a time to self-explore and become familiar with your erection and arousal levels. Become familiar with the point where you’re close to ejaculation, and learn to stop stimulation before you reach the point of no return. Eventually, you’ll learn to apply this newfound awareness of your arousal levels during sexual intercourse.
Master Your Breathing
When you want to build towards marathon love making sessions, mastering your breathing is absolutely crucial. Focusing on in-and-out deep breathing not only calms you and preserves your physical stamina, but slow, deliberate, deep breathing helps delay ejaculation, while rapid panting and shallow breathing raises arousal levels.
In order to truly master deep breathing, you’ll want to do breathing exercises away from sexual intercourse. Find a quiet place and spend 10-15 minutes daily focusing only on your breathing. Breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to feel your breathing coming from deep within your belly. This will make deep breathing a habit that you’ll be able to call upon during sexual intercourse to lower your arousal levels and gain control over your ejaculatory response.
Spend More Time With The Woman On Top
When a man is thrusting away in missionary or doggy style positions, not only are these positions very stimulating for the head of the penis, but when a man is in control in these positions he tends to rush towards climax, whether consciously or subconsciously. By switching to positions where the woman is on top with control, the man can decrease the stimulation on his penis and instead focus on enjoying the moment. Having a beautiful naked woman on top of you grinding on your penis can be extremely satisfying and offers a beautiful sight, but usually results in less direct stimulation on the head of the penis. And with the woman in control, the man can’t rush himself to climax.
This is where the self-practice during masturbation can come into play. During masturbation you can approach climax and back off, learning where your arousal limits are and when you pass the point of no return. You can do the same thing during sex, but instead of stopping what you’re doing completely, you simply take a moment and switch positions. The short halt to grinding/thrusting can reduce your levels of arousal just enough so that you can get a second wind and delay ejaculation.
Controlling Mental Imagery
There is a fine line between enjoying the thrill of sex and letting the imagery and eroticism of the moment overwhelm your senses. While you can enjoy looking at the pleasure on your partner’s face as you penetrate her, or delight in her body grinding against yours, it’s important to remain aware of how your thoughts affect your arousal levels. While enjoying the eroticism of the moment, maintain focus on your deep breathing. While focusing on the deep breathing should keep your arousal levels in check, if you need to, you can also take a moment to distract yourself with unattractive imagery. While this is a less preferable technique – since it can take away from the joy of the moment – it’s a good technique to use while you’re developing your ability to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed.